Creative, intuitive, intelligent, and inspiring, my paternal grandmother, Deborah Brooks has influenced my life greatly and continues to impact my thoughts and actions. Graduating from college with teacher certification for teaching fine arts in high school, and teaching elementary, Spanish-speaking, and special needs children, my grandmother has encouraged the determined and creative drive within me and has inspired me to pursue a degree in studio art with all-level teacher certification. Throughout my entire life, I have viewed my grandmother as an idol and have striven to better myself to reach my goals, so I, too, can someday have my own class of high school students, learning and growing with my help.

Art is a gift that I wish to bring alive in each person. Anyone can leave a mark on the world and everyone can add a splash of color to his life. With a little instruction, a stimulating challenge, and a driving purpose, paintbrushes can create worlds and pencils can bring paper to life. With a natural instinct to help and share my knowledge, I aim to unveil student’s eyes and help them find their own personal artistic voice. With the knowledge and experience gained from earning a college degree, I plan to become a high school art teacher to help the world discover the value of art. By attending a university, I will be able to sharpen my artistic talents, allow my passion to grow, and later empower others to improve themselves and add to life’s natural beauty.

Expression is everything. A person is who he is because he expresses himself to be that way. Without expression, thoughts would remain with their owners, ideas would never leave their creators’ minds, inventions would cease to be created, and art would not exist. Language would serve no purpose and would, therefore, become extinct. Without expression, people would be forced into isolation, unable to retrieve or accept information, feelings, or ideas from another person.

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Through a child’s untouched eyes, life is a different view. Colors are splattered all about, bright, vibrant, unique, and colorful. Lines run in every direction leading the eye from one interesting object to the next. To children, our planet is a wondrous sight, never a bore, and intricately beautiful, but as they grow, they gradually begin to lose this sensitive awareness. As my years have passed, my appreciation for the beauty of the world around me has developed and grown, not perished. I continue to view life through the eyes of a child, innocent, creative, and filled with wonder. With a vivid imagination, I have learned to take in my observations and add to them with my own creative style. Over the years I have relied on creativity to express my interpretation of life and to express myself. My skills have improved, my knowledge has expanded, and I have allowed my talent to shine. Art is a gift not only to the artist, but also to anyone who takes in the artist’s work, viewing his gift to the world.

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Although I do not notice or think of it often, there is something in my life, a seemingly invisible force, which is constantly affecting and changing my life, sometimes without my knowledge or without my acceptance. This force has been at work my entire life, even before I was born, and has resulted in my existence here on Earth. An active-duty member of the United States Air Force, my mother makes my life what it is, naming the government and the Armed Forces as fathers of mine. I follow orders from the Air Force just as she does.

My parents met each other while attending the Air Force’s Basic Training program, and I was a result. Throughout my entire life, the Air Force has told me where to live and I have grown comfortable temporarily living on government land in a government-owned house. I have known nothing but the white walls that have surrounded me in every house I’ve lived in, and cannot even imagine a painted wall, now. House expansions and remodeling seem against the law to me since they have been against my laws. I have grown used to following government regulations and no longer find moving often unusual. Throughout my seventeen years of life, I have called eight different houses home and have cheered for six different school mascots. Because I move often, problems arise. My grades do not correctly transfer affecting my class rank, classes I have taken are not accepted in different states, friends are left behind, items are lost, and I can never truly plan for the future because I never know what’s going to happen next. I learn to live on my toes and expect the unexpected. Because of the Air Force, I have seen a variety of places, and faced different climates growing comfortable right up against the Canadian border and the Mexican.

Because the Air Force controls when people come and go, I am comfortable giving goodbyes to loved ones, wondering when I’ll ever see someone again, and shedding tears at an airport. Each year I must meet new friends to leave the next year and while my sense of adventure brings optimism to each move, my sensitive side dwells on the loss of friends. Relationships of mine have broken and ended because of my situation, friends unable and unwilling to keep in contact. Family life is also affected, my mother willing to be sent away to participate in a war, help in a distant region, or receive more training in a different place. Gone for two weeks, gone for four weeks, gone for eight weeks, gone for twenty-four weeks, it’s different every time. With my mother’s long working hours, leaving the house at five in the morning to return as late as eight in the evening, and deploying to Maine, Alabama, Cuba, Afghanistan, I have adjusted to life at home with my dad. My mom’s schedule is unpredictable and she can leave at any point, sometimes even excusing herself from dinner or sneaking out from the darkness of the movie theatre. While I must be ready to leave a friend, my mom must be ready to serve her duties.

They tell her not to drink the water. They restrict her from the leaving the base alone. They issue her a gun and train her how to use it. The Air Force consists of people willing to work in dangerous situations to protect their homeland. My mother is one of these people and while she may not rush into combat with bullets brushing her shoulders and grenades ringing in her ears, she does reside in dangerous areas. Working in the medical field, my mother treats those who have fought and those who have been injured. Her enemy is disease and her goal is not to protect the innocent villagers, but to save their lives. While she is away, I worry for her safety, knowing that there is a possibility that she may not return.

As I live my life, the United States Air Force makes many major decisions for me: where I will live, when I will say goodbye to my friends, when my mother will work and where she will deploy. While these may add difficulties to my life at times, I have grown used to them and have become familiar with the procedures. I continue to make new friends as I am pulled from one place and stuck in another and continue to worry for my mother as she is sent away from my family and me. I take required classes that I have missed and try to straighten my grades out between schools. I may live as if I could move soon, but I try to find “home” in each place I reside. Because of these difficulties, my perspective of life has been sculpted, leaving me to believe, “You never know what’ll happen.”

Okay, so school just got out like three days ago for me, and summer’s ahead. 🙂 I love summer.

I’ve decided that I should start using my blog again; I never really stopped, I just haven’t had the time to update it. My junior year was the most busiest school year of my life, I do believe…Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it…Anyways, summer’s here and I am really really hoping that I will have time to enjoy and relax. I doubt it, but you never know. 😉

I just went through my entire blog and updatted every single post. There are now little indentions next to introductions to posts and everything is just a touch more uniform and organized, how I like it. 😀 Going through my whole blog and reading my past…makes me miss everything so much. I miss Magic Pens, and my old blog, and I wish I had transferred over all of the comments. I missed quite a few, but I got most, so it’s okay. I also really hope that I will come to love this new blog just as much as my old and that I will get some more readers. In Magic Pens I was used to having anywhere from 5-10 readers on each post and receiving many comments and feeback. This blog barely gets 5 pageviews at all and I am left to feel so alone… :\

I plan to post some more essays I wrote over this year, make some more minor updates, and perhaps start creative writing again!

Any of you interested on reading about my new school? We had an English assignment to write an essay comparing two things so I compared Minot High School with my new school, William Howard Taft High.

Adjusting from one high school to another can bring many challenges because of the many differences. Moving to San Antonio, Texas, from Minot, North Dakota, has introduced many new experiences to my life, and although adjusting to living just a few miles from the border of Canada to that of Mexico can be difficult, not everything is so foreign. Overlooking my past school, Minot High School, and my new exposure, William Howard Taft High School, many similarities and differences come to view.

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Without even realizing it, people change and direct their lives by making decision many times a day. At times, choices can be minor, but occasionally these choices can be important. Before moving to San Antonio, Texas just recently, I had to make a decision that I feel I made the correct choice to in the end.

When I was told that I would be moving to Texas, I knew that I would have to leave my friends and my boyfriend behind, but there was a choice when it came to leaving my pet rabbits behind. Glancing at my two furry, white rabbits, it was difficult to think of giving away my precious companions. I would never again be able to stroke their soft fur, enjoy watching them happily hop about my room, or hug them in comfort when I was sad or troubled. I would terribly miss staring into their curious eyes and taking care of them to make their lives as pleasurable as I could.
These thoughts saddened me and quickly convinced me to ponder of the alternative; I could take them with me on the move. Of course there would not be much room for them in the car and the trip would be long and tiring. They wouldn’t be comfortable stuffed into small cages and most likely refuse to relieve themselves as they often did when caged. My rabbits, born in the North, might also have trouble adjusting to a new southern home.

After much thought and comparison, I decided that it would be best for my rabbits to find them a new, comfortable home. Months of searching for the perfect owner finally brought about a young family on my street willing to welcome two new animals into their home. After they prepared a new environment for my dear friends, I helped them make the small transfer. With a final hug and kiss goodbye, I left my rabbits to curiously explore their perfect, new home and returned to my empty bedroom. When I was greeted with unusual emptiness and felt a pain in my heart, I could not stop the tears from streaming down my face although I feel I made the right choice.

I feel like a failure, bottom-line, and I feel like everything I care about and work hard at…dies. I don’t know what it is. There’s just been way too many things for me to deal with at the moment.

I really kind of want, or need, someone to read this. I really need some feedback and this…dead silence…is killing me. Please, people! I need Magic Pens!

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I’ve been feeling kind of down lately. I just…miss things. I wrote this rant up during English class but had to stop suddenly when the bell rang. It’s lame, I know.

This is stupid. Life is stupid. I’m stupid.

I don’t want to listen or think right now. I know that I need to know this and I need to pay attention because I wasn’t here for this, I never learned this, but I just want to rant…

Oh my gosh! I want to rant!

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Okay, first off, I am very sorry for not writing much lately…Seriously, I suck, but there has been so much going on in my life…Maybe I’ll rant about it later. Anyways, for now I just popped on to break some news to you. I have to do chores and then get some sleep for Summer School again tomorrow…Joy, joy…so this will be fast.

I just found out yesterday that I am moving…Returning to San Antonio, Texas, my birthplace, hometown…where I grew up for almost 11 of my years. I’m pretty excited, but there are some things I am going to miss here. So I won’t be moving until Octoberish, and that’s about all I know at the moment…

Now, let’s just see who’s still alive and checking blogs. 😉

Anybody can recognize my grandmother from the large glasses that rest on her nose or from the red locks of hair that grace her ears in a short fashion, but I have my own unique way of recognizing her.

Only I can view a rising sun and visualize my grandmother watching it alongside me. Under the sun’s welcoming warmth, I can feel her naturally rosy skin and can smell her presence amongst the dawn’s fresh dew. Morning songbirds sing of her presence along with the church prayers hushed to the Lord and the hymns being played on her piano. Vibrant paint fills the air with the sweet smell of color being carefully applied to an awaiting canvas by my grandmother’s steady hand and with a comforting hug, I can remember the silky fabric of her many church dresses. Allowing the juice of a bold, red apple to flow across my tongue, I can taste my grandmother’s love for the fruit and her pride of the color, loving the bold image that red gives, a reflection of her own personality.

Only I can describe my grandmother with these words, remembering the joyous moments spent together.

All right…I’ve arrived home, with no homework, really tired, and my rabbits are running around me in my room. I would like to write something, but right now I am just too brain dead. I don’t know what to write, even a rant…I think that I will come back to this later on tonight.

. . .

I have returned to this post, although it isn’t the later night.

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