Chapter 1

It came to me in a dream as its magnificent glory stunned me. Why had this marvelous being chosen me? I was of no importance. I was just a poor young man of about ten and seven living with my mother and father in the small village of Ibleen. My family had been one of the lucky few that had survived the first few attacks from the invading Qurks. They had come before, stealing people to mine for copper and leaving us to wait for our chosen date in fear. The life had been drained from my village and the small roads lay still and quiet. We sat waiting, unsure of what to do or where to go. There was nowhere for us to go. Ibleen was located near a small oasis out in the Jordan Desert, and there is no civilization or water for miles around. We were trapped there to wait for the end…

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Meeting Overview

For those of you who missed the meeting that was held in the computer room at 3:30 on Wednesday, November 29, 2006, here is a short overview of what we talked about.
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Zitch’s Story

The weather is calm with a bright sun beating down overhead. A slight breeze brushes against your face carrying a soft fragrance in the air as you explore through a garden full of blossoming roses. The crimson color of the gorgeous flowers stands out boldly against the cold, gray stone of the path you walk on. As you search the interesting garden, you walk through bush after bush of pure, red roses. You wonder in your mind why there’s but a single kind of flower in this large garden. Whose garden is this?

Continuing down the path, turning past this bush and that bush, you finally reach the center of the garden. Stepping out onto an open, circular stone path, you discover a large fountain in the center of the road. The fountain is made of the same bricks as underneath your feet, and reaches just up to your waist. A soft trickle of water spews out of the spout growing out of the top of the rounded feature, emitting a soft, soothing sound. You close your eyes and begin to dream until you suddenly get the urge to explore some more.

Quickly, flashing your eyes open, you decide to continue your exploration. Walking past the fountain you’re suddenly caught by surprise when a small creature glides across your feet. The creature passed quickly, and you were unable to see what it was clearly. There was a rustling sound as it dove into the rose bushes lining the side of the path.

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New Member!

I’ve finally convinced my good friend, Hannah, to join Magic Pens!

She now has her own blog running!

Asking for Feedback

I noticed that I’ve written many stories recently and I’m asking for some feedback! I ‘ve posted many varieties of writing including 1st person and 3rd person, a long chapter story, a short chapter story, short stories, different perspectives on the same story, and a memoir. I’m asking for simple answers to these questions…

  • What did you like?
  • What didn’t you like?
  • How can I improve?
  • What should I continue writing?
  • What story is your favorite so far?
  • What style of writing that I have tried do you like so far?
  • What style of writing should I work on more?
  • What should I try next?

Any other suggestions or comments?

Chapter 5: A Life of Happiness

Shep watched as the fluffy clouds rolled by in the sky. He was sitting in the back seat of a small car, driving down the large highway, watching the passing scenery. Lilly sat beside him, grasping his collar tightly in her hand as she stared out the other window. Shep thought of what this new life was to be like. He had escaped his prison, but he was not sure of where he was going to next.

He might be heading for a new prison.

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A Mother’s Gift

Claire sat on the edge of her bed and looked out her window to the forest that stared back. The tall woods were dark and looked unfriendly as they reached up towards the sky. The sun was just setting casting a watercolor effect on the sky. Pastel colors of red, orange, yellow, pink, and purple mixed and swirled together, fading into the horizon. She brushed her short, blonde hair with her fingers as she thought silently to herself, watching the sunset.

It had been nearly three months now, since the accident.

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The Curse of the Phoenix

I wasn’t always this way. I led a normal life. I was perfectly happy before. I was even married. Yes, believe it or not, I had a wife. Oh, how I miss her dearly. I wish that I could take this curse from my life, but it will not leave. I wish that it had never come, never chosen me, but it’s here and it’s a part of me. I must deal with it as I go about my day and I must learn to pay the consequences.

This curse…the curse of the phoenix.

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Duchess Illustration

I’ve drawn a picture of the foal from my story, The Horse From the Woods. This is the foal from the prologue, Duchess.

Do you think that I describe her enough to get this picture in your mind? If not, please tell me how I could improve.

Chapter 2 [Old]

With the full moon above them, Natalie and Duchess rode down the long, unpaved path, only taking a short time to reach their destination. Duchess quickly galloped the entire trip under the moonlight without slowing in speed or growing in exhaustion leading Natalie to wonder where she had received this stunning endurance. Duchess’s movement was smooth and balanced, making it easy for her rider to stay on. Natalie grasped onto the reigns of her horse tightly, however, in nervousness as she thought of never returning to her past life.

As they approached the quaint town of Anzama, Natalie slowed her horse and turned her off the dusty road to a small hill that overlooked the town. After dismounting and climbing the grassy mound, she was astonished at what she saw before her. The color drained from her face as raging flames met her dark eyes. The town lay in ruins, burned to the ground. Visions from her frightening past came back to haunt her, as her breathing became heavy. The full moon shed little light on the ground, however the fire lit up the sky as it burned over the wood of houses. Flames licked at the sky, casting smoke to dance above before vanishing.

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Chapter 4: A New Face

Shep sat in his lonely cage with thoughts rolling in his head. He stared at his brown paws, finally tired of tearing at the door of his cage and continued to wonder why he was unable to control the anger that burned within him. What was happening to him? He observed the other dogs at all times. When alone, some dogs would sleep; some think, and others play within their confined space. During feeding time, most would sit and wait until the man was finished and had relocked their cage before eating, some would immediately rush to their food bowl and start eating from it before it was even full, while the more aggressive ones would try to make the man’s hand a part of their meal.

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Chapter 3: The Capture


“They are coming…Just wait.”

“Oh, I just can’t wait!”

“I know. To see if all our hard work has paid off. This is just too exciting!”


“Not quite. Almost…”

“I am getting goose bumps all-”

“They’re in!”

“What? Really? Let me see!”

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