Looking up at the bright full moon looming overhead, Shep tried to remember as far back as he could. Resting all four of his tired paws, he sat on the vast, grassy hill that overlooked the bustling city below. He wasn’t sure why, but there was nothing there. Part of his mind was missing…gone…lost. Why couldn’t he recall anything? Small pieces of his memory seemed to float by his mind, just out of reach, the same as how a dream taunts its waker throughout the day, feeding enough images to catch your interest, then snatching them away. What happened to him, and why was he here?
The city below illuminated a low glow into the sky and pleased Shep’s dark brown eyes. He continued to stare at the city below him before looking down at his clawless paws and wondering how he was to survive in this condition. It would be very difficult to try and catch prey without any claws. A cold breeze sent a chill down his spine as the temperature began to slowly decrease. He pulled in his big, bushy, black tail around himself and folded his light brown forelegs out before him. Curling up in a small ball of brown and black fur, he prepared himself for the cold night ahead. Still trying to remember anything of his past, he slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.
As hunger started to command Shep’s mind, his senses began to heighten. He could…smell something. Food. Food. Food. It repeated itself many times and tugged at his mind. He could not remember the last time he had eaten. Opening his eyes and blinking many times, he let his wild instincts carry him away to find something to eat. It was early morning now. The grass below his paws was covered in a crisp mist of dew. The birds had not awakened yet, along with the sun. He ran stealthfully down the side of the hill and into the small woods bordering the city. His nose picked up a smell; the smell of meat.
Shep searched through the forest with his dark eyes, however his sense of smell was leading him more than his eyesight was. Autumn was here, and a few leaves had already fallen from the trees looming overhead. The trees stood still in the darkness of early morning as an owl watched from above, giving a hoot every now and then. He knew that small rodents would be searching for food right now, so he lightened his step to avoid crunching on the leaves on the forest floor. Sneaking quietly through the woods, his ears quickly perked up and he halted to a stop. There was a noise. He listened carefully and could hear a rustling to his left. Slowly prowling to a large bush to his left, he crouched down on his paws, putting himself in a position ready to pounce. The rustling grew louder as it was coming towards his hiding place, and his nose seemed to go off like an alarm within his mind. He could easily tell what creature it was now. Rodent, to be specific a woodland brown mouse. His senses told him that the creature was but 20 feet from him. 15…10…5… Shep pounced using his powerful back legs and reached out for the mouse in front of him. He successfully grabbed the rodent within his paws, but could not hold it for he had no claws. The mouse struggled in fright and easily slipped out from his claw-less paws. It landed in a pile of leaves and quickly scurried away for its life.
Shep was furious. Bounding after the mouse with sharp hunger pains inside him, he was determined to catch it. He followed the small animal around tree after tree and through bushes and brush. He finally surrendered when the mouse ran down a small hole in the ground, too small for him to fit through. He growled and barked at the hole in fury, scratching at it with the soft pads of his paws. It was useless. He would never be able to catch prey in this condition.
One thing that Shep knew much about was humans. This was one subject that he could remember. They weren’t exactly memories buried deep in his mind, but facts obtained through experiencing memories. It was an odd feeling within his mind, and he wasn’t sure how it was possible. Was it instincts? He knew that humans held much food, and that they disposed of much of it within the streets of their cities. He knew where he could scrounge up something to eat, however it would hurt his pride. He was a hunter, not a scavenger, but he must do what he must to survive.
Sounds like a roleplay =3 Anyway, could use a bit more description (not a whole lot, just a bit more on different parts here and there). One other thing I noticed was that you used Shep’s name quite a bit in some paragraphs, then only once in others, so I think using a couple more pronouns would help there. (If that isn’t the right word, I am sorry, I am just not in my right thoughts right now -.-). Other than that, it is pretty good; well put together ^.^
Thanks, I have edited the story now. Now what do you think?
I don’t even know what kind of animal Noelle is… crazy. I really like how you used all the senses when you were writing… it’s really neat. Very well done. 😀
Me? I am Noelle. Do you mean Shep? You kind of aren’t supposed to know until the next part.
only 6 paragraphs? Noelle u can write more than that!! Very good… I liked it. Even though I say that to most of ur stories… Im not as cruel-hearted as Mr. G
Wow good story and just like Terri said, what kind of animal is Shep??
I thought a cat then it said he barked and that threw me off.
Sweet story though, you described EVERYTHING and I like it!!
P.S. Are you happy that I Finally read a story?!?! 🙂
Yes, thank you for reading a story. You don’t quite know what type of animal Shep is until Chapter 3. Keep reading to find out!
Why toture me?!?!
Anyway I’ll read part 2 right now or any other stories before that!!!